so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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