Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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