im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize