woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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