Buhtt sex?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just pee around me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
