I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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