Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
