2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
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I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
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But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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