Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize