it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
is wine microwaveable?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
