So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She's JV to your varsity
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
