Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
