..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
