what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
