i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize