wanna go halves on a baby?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize