Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
