People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
