I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
