Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
