My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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