dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
