I am puke
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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