the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
