I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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