well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
