i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
