He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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