Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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