The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
