Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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