Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Holy sore nipples Batman
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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