Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
