Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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