He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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