Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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