I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
