and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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