i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
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