My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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