Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
