I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
