You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
