My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
