I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
