3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
