hotel room ftw
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I did not marry a roomba.
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