I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
