so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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