After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
