Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize