I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
