I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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