I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
