Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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