Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize