he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just want nice things and good sex
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
