That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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