I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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