Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
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I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
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She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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