Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
